January 7, 2016
My name is Sarah Payne, my husband Jon and I have been happily married since October 5, 2013 and we are blessed with three fur babies, 2 miniature Schnauzers (Harley and Nina, both girls) and our boy cat (Sam). We have always wanted children and because we knew we were ready emotionally and financially, we got the ball rolling right after we were married. After about a year of trying (and having fun trying!) I began to worry there may be something wrong so I started being more proactive with the process, charting my cycles, temperature, OPKs (ovulation prediction kit) and the dreaded HPTs(home pregnancy test). From everything I could tell, everything was fine….but I didn’t really know as much as I thought at the time. I always thought you just did the deed (DTD) at the right time and BAM, pregnant…..little did I know ?
The second year of ttc, was probably the most difficult (to this point) because I felt incredibly alone and frustrated….and afraid….afraid there was something wrong with us and afraid to find out. Every month I would get the dreaded Aunt Flo (AF, the heinous bitch from hell) I would emotionally fall apart inside, but put a happy face on for everyone else because I was already getting questions from family and friends about “So when are you guys gonna have kids?” There were many times it took every ounce of self control to not scream or break down in tears when asked that question AND anyone who knows me knows I’m not good at hiding my feelings. My dear husband who is my best friend and biggest fan, struggles with knowing what to say or do when I’m really down. Most men are ‘fixers’ and my Jon is definitely that guy, which in this case is tough for him because he didn’t know how to fix this, other than for us to keep trying (go figure…more sex, that’s the answer!).
Right before our 2 year anniversary, I had my annual trip to the OBGYN and I asked about our struggles and what we should do…Long story short, blood work showed I have hypothyroid (which explained a few things for me) and we were referred to a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) for more testing…this process was a blessing, emotional, frightening and hopeful all at the same time. We are now taking the steps toward hopefully, successfully conceiving our first child. I will get more into this in later entries.
I will continue to document this process, so please come along with me for the ride! Infertility affects approximately 1 in 8 couples and before Jon and I became that 1 in 8 couple, I had NO IDEA how common this was because no one talks about it and those who do conceive using fertility treatments don’t usually tell people how they were able to bring home their bundle of joy that so many of us would give anything to have.